Pity Party

It is not like me to struggle with envy, but when we are already a little discouraged, it is easy for the enemy to take advantage.

June 19

When we bought our house we knew that we wanted to redo the kitchen. I’m glad we didn’t do it when we first moved in as I had hoped. I have a much better idea of what I want to do now that I have lived in the house for five years. The basement is set up for a kitchen with all the plumbing in place. So the plan was to put the kitchen that is on the main floor in the basement when we remodeled. We have had to put the remodel off due to three kids in college and a few other unforeseen events. Today God blessed me with free kitchen cabinets for my basement. When we went to look at them not only did these sweet people give us the cabinets, but they gave us a stove that is only a year and a half old as well as a microwave. I am so blessed and so grateful! Especially since last night, I was feeling a little sad that I still can’t redo my kitchen. I know of a few people who have recently done their kitchens and some that are in the middle of doing it now and last night I was having a bit of a pity party. The real problem is, I am really missing my friends, and sometimes that leaves me a little down. So the enemy loves to take advantage of us when we are a little discouraged, lonely, and sad. Since you are already not at your best, it is easy to open the door to envy when others are getting something you have been waiting for. For me, it was a kitchen, for someone else it may be a relationship restored, a healing long overdue, or maybe a new job. Envy is not normally a struggle for me, but last night I was. It didn’t last long. I put things back in perspective and I asked God to forgive me. I have so much to be grateful for and here I am sad about a kitchen! Really! It’s a little embarrassing. By the time I went to bed I had let it all go and was thanking God for all He has done in my life. So today when He again blessed me after I almost blew it last night I feel so undeserving and so incredibly grateful. I am so glad I dealt with all that sinful behavior last night and did not bring it into today. I can’t imagine how bad I would feel if I had not repented before He blessed me with a kitchen for my basement. He is always faithful, even when we don’t deserve it. Who knows, I may have lost the blessing if I hadn’t got my heart right. I just know that God is so patient and kind, he loves me, and He loves you!