My Beloved

In the silence, I know he is near

June 29

Today is one of those days when I would love to have a supernatural encounter with the Living God, my Savior, my Friend. I want to see Him face to face. I want to touch Him as Lucy did in Narnia. I want to sit on my sofa, put my head in His lap, and listen to Him talk, hear Him breathe. I am normally satisfied with my relationship with God, but today I want more! I feel like I need more. He feels far away and I feel lonely. I know He is near, I know He hears me. I know he loves me. But I am still longing for more. I think this is the process of going deeper with Him. I pray it is not me falling away. I will have to trust that He will search my heart, and let me know if there is any wicked way in me. I think I am being drawn into a new way to experience Him, a new way to love Him and receive His love. I feel like when you know you are about to go on vacation and you just can’t stand the day to day stuff anymore. You just want to go. The beach and sun and relaxation are calling to you, but that is a few more days away. Life almost seems unbearable because you know what beautiful experiences are coming. Even better it is like preparing for your wedding day. Suddenly all the beauty of the world fades compared to your love and you can’t wait to marry. You simply want Him near. Nothing else will do. So you wait. I am waiting for my groom to appear. To take me away with Him. The thrill of dating no longer satisfies. I want more. I want forever and deeper and deeper intimacy. I want Him! My Beloved. He is my proportion and I am His bride.