Church Re-opened

Should I stay or should I go? I asked myself rather than God.

June 21

Today was the first day our church opened its doors since the COVID virus shut everything down. I was really torn about whether I should go or not. Michael said no, he was not going because the numbers in North Carolina are still rising. I was okay with that. I felt a little hesitant about going anyway. Then My granddaughter was given the opportunity to sing with Justin, our worship leader. She was going to sing Way Maker with him. I really didn’t want to miss that, so I contemplated going. I knew my daughter was a little nervous about the crowds, so I offered to keep my grandson, Ethan home with me. We could just watch her when we watched church online. So the plan was; we would stay home and watch on TV. But in the morning I woke up really early with a migraine. Then my daughter messaged me to tell that they were going to post a prerecorded message online. It would be the same content, but it would not be the live message from the sanctuary. I would not be able to see Ella sing. All week I felt unsure as to whether or not I should go to church. I really miss meeting together, and I have not been worried about COVID, but something inside of me said not to go. I was fine with not going until Ella was going to sing. It is not like I felt God was saying DO NOT GO. It was a lot more subtle, just a sense maybe I shouldn’t go. If I had not gotten a migraine, I would probably have gone to church. As I lay in bed all day Sunday, I realized that God was keeping me from going. He was putting a protective hand on me. Please understand, I am not saying they shouldn’t have opened. I am really glad they did. I am just saying, for whatever reason I was not supposed to go. The migraine kept me home. The reason I needed to stay home with a migraine all day, I may never know, and I’m okay with that. Next time I have a feeling like that I will go to God in prayer and ask Him, rather than trying to make sense of it all by myself.