Too Many, I Can't's

November 2

Just when I thought maybe things were getting better with my hand, I suspect they're getting worse. I had a rough day today. It started okay. I met a bunch of friends for lunch to celebrate a birthday. I enjoyed the time with my friends. But by the time I got to my car, I started to fade. The constant buzzing and tingling in my hand can wear me out. I am frustrated by all the limitations this injury has placed on me. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. I was ready to drop. I couldn't sleep, but I really couldn't do anything either. My mind was too distracted by the pain. So I ended up lying down on the sofa watching some TV, which is not my favorite activity. But later on that night, I got up and grabbed my Bible. It has been hard getting through all of this. So much of what I love to do has been taken away. I can't work on projects around the house. I can't write or type. I can't be productive. I can't read.

Especially hate not being able to read. If I could have just spent all this time crawling up in my favorite chair reading, I don't think it would have been so bad. I love to read my Bible. I love to read good books, especially those that heal and lift your soul. But the constant buzzing and pain in my hand make it hard to concentrate. So I have to read very slowly. Sometimes I have to reread the same paragraphs over and over to understand what I read. And most days that I do get to read, I end up feeling like I read a blank page instead of gaining understanding, never mind being inspired by the words.

So today, when God gave me the gift of being able to sit down with my Bible and read two full days of my daily reading, it felt like a gift. It was precious. Reading my Bible wasn't as easy as it is typically for me, but it wasn't near as hard as it's been. And then, as a bonus, I was able to read one chapter from an excellent book I've been reading. In the midst of such a hard day, it was like an oasis. Thank you, Jesus.