The Enemy Twists & Distorts

October 9

I wrote this almost a week ago, by speaking into my phone. I have still been writing every day, it has just been hard to edit and post with only one hand. Not to mention, we are in the middle of a remodel where we are trying to do as much of the work ourselves. I know by the end of this, God will have written a beautiful story, and I will be amazed. Tonight and tomorrow I am going to try and post a few of the messages I have written.

I talked to my brother this morning on his way to work. He had had an argument with our dad. My dad lives with my brother and his family. He is getting old, and his mind is starting to fail, so he is very easily offended, and often takes things the wrong way. My brother is one of the kindest, most easy-going people I know. He is not one to argue or get mad, he is kind-hearted and patient. So when he got in the car this morning he called me because his heart was grieved over the conversation with our dad. As we were talking, God started to illuminate my understanding. I started to see some familiar childhood memories in a new light.

My dad loved my mom and was devoted to her more than you can imagine. As far as he was concerned he didn't need anyone else but her. He devoted his whole life to her. So when she died he didn't have anyone. My brother and I knew that our dad loved us. But we also grew up knowing that he would have been okay if he never had children. The only reason he agreed to have kids was because my mom couldn’t wait to have children. My Dad only needed my mom and did whatever would make her happy. So they had three kids. I never felt unloved, I knew my dad loved me. I also knew my dad would provide for me and protect me. I knew if I needed a hug, I could go get one. I also knew he thought I was perfect. And he was so proud of what a good girl I was. I knew my dad loved me, but I didn't really have a relationship with him. I am just now realizing the impact of my dad loving me from a distance. I think this is where those seeds of don't be a bother, don't get in the way, don't be an inconvenience, just be a good girl and all will be well and you will be loved, first came in.

I love my dad, and I know he loves me. I would do anything for him, and I know he would do anything he could for me. I am not bitter, or upset, I am just starting to see the lie the enemy had planted and I believed.

These are just the kinds of events in life that the enemy likes to get involved in. He twists and distorts and makes a mess of our perception. My parents loved me and did the best they could in very difficult circumstances, but the enemy used this to speak lies into my life and to wound me. The beautiful thing is that God will take all of those same experiences and speak truth into it, and heal my heart. He will make me stronger. He will use it for good. I love how He loves me and unravels me.