I am Not a Bother to God

He told me I ask too little, and I expect too little.

October 8

I saw God revealing Himself to me today in my class at Grace Life international. At the end of our class, we had a personal time of prayer. We took our journals and went to a quiet place for about 20-25 minutes. And we were told to ask God what His opinion of us was. That's a hard question for me. I know that He loves me, but I still feel so insignificant. So when I started my prayer time I let God know, if He just wanted to spend time with me, and didn't want to speak, I was okay with that. I simply love to be in his presence. I was also afraid that I would confuse what I want to hear, with what He actually had to say, so I told Him He could be silent if He wanted to be. I really didn’t expect Him to answer me on demand. So I peacefully sat in His presence and was satisfied to feel Him near. As the time was drawing to an end, I sensed him say ‘You expect too little and you ask too little.” And then He told me that I was not a bother.

I hate to be a bother. I hate to inconvenience anyone. I try to never be a drain on anyone's time or resources. I don’t want to be the person in need. But, I don't mind if someone keeps me waiting, or needs a little extra time to finish a job. I enjoy using my talents to help others out. Things like sewing and helping to create things they could not do on their own, or just lending a helping hand. Just having the opportunity to help a friend or neighbor feels like a blessing to me. But I have a really hard time if I'm the one that needs help or grace. I'm always trying to be easy to get along with, and fair. It is easy for me to have a lot of grace for others. I am not easily offended and I can easily see the other person's point of view. But I rarely expect people to see mine. At the end of class our teacher told me the next time I pray, ask God who it was that made me feel like I was a bother. And I will do that soon.