Fuller Life

More freedom, clearer vision, and fuller life.

May 1

I went for a walk with a friend today. I t was so nice to be outside in the fresh air and talking with a friend. She has been practicing a style of prayer called centering prayer. I messaged her the other day to ask her a few questions. I have been really wanting to experience that kind of time with God. When she first told me about this prayer-time she was having, I really wanted to try it, but having my grandbabies as much as I did, and how busy I was, made it hard. So on our walk, she gave me a few tips and told me about an app that is helpful. She shared some things that God has done in her life, some freedom she has experienced. As we walked this beautiful trail and shared some of the things God has been doing in our lives, God was stirring some memories. Some things I need to spend time in prayer about. God is revealing a long past hurt that is affecting my present life. As children we are great recorders of the events of our life; we are poor interpreters. When we come to the wrong conclusion it is easy for the enemy to attach a lie to it. That lie causes us to see things differently from what they are, and cause turmoil.

Not all of these misinterpretations will cause harm. Like, this story... When I was only maybe five. My Dad drove my mom and me, and my brothers to Nova Scotia to spend the summer with family. After a week or two, he left and went back to Ontario for work. No one thought to inform the five-year-old of the plans. So, I came to my own conclusion. My Dad died. I did not tell anyone of this wrong understanding I had come to. What a shock it was to me when at the end of the summer he returned to pick us up. My first thought when I saw him come through the door was, he is a ghost! Honestly, My memory of that moment is so vivid and so wrong. To me, my dad looked like a ghost. I can't describe to you the fear I felt. I wouldn't go near him. It took a couple of days for me to understand that my dad was not dead. Here is the really funny part. A couple of years ago, my dad comes to visit and somehow that summer comes up in conversation. For all these years, my dad believed I was mad at him when he returned. He had no idea what was going on inside my head. The only one who can interpret the moments of our lives is God. This is why I will go to God with this memory he has stirred up. More freedom, clearer vision, and fuller life.