Don't Give Up

November 1

I want to post every night, but I can't. Lately, it's been tough to speak my daily musings into my phone. Some days my head is so foggy and cluttered because of the pain, I feel lucky to at least log where I saw God that day. I don't have it in me most days to edit and post what I've been writing. But every time I get to this place. Where I'm feeling defeated, looking for a reason to stop writing and to say I'm done. It is when I am at my lowest that God make sit clear I must persist. And that's what happened today. I didn't sleep well at all last night. At 3:45, I still hadn't fallen asleep. So today I've been a little tired. It was Sunday, so I was hoping I might be able to spend a little bit of time on my blog and maybe get a little caught up. I read my Bible, and I was hoping to read a book I was in the middle of. After that, I wanted to spend some time on my blog. But as soon as I got done with my Bible, somebody needed my help. Then one thing led to another, and before I knew it, the day was over. I set my computer on my lap, plugged it in, and tried to turn it on.

Even though I was really tired, I thought I would feel better about how far behind I am if I could do a little bit. Unfortunately, the battery was dead, and I needed to wait just a little bit for it to charge so I could turn it on. I was starting to tell God that I really enjoyed making a note of where I saw Him every day, but maybe this was the time to stop writing the blog. Not many people were reading it. The most important endeavor is me looking for Him and noticing how He is working and writing it down. I can still do that without posting everything for others to read. It's not like I have a huge audience or anything. And truthfully, I'm doing this for an audience of one. I'm doing this for my Heavenly Father because He asked me to. So I picked up my phone as I was waiting for my computer to charge. And I get a notification that someone wants to follow me. I feel defeated that I'm getting so far behind, and I can't seem to get everything posted. It makes me want to quit. I hear God loud and clear; I can't give up. I need to trust Him and what He's doing. I need to keep posting, even if I'm behind. Just when I think it doesn't matter, He reminds me it does.