A Holy Rest

October 27

I'm learning to rest. Being still or resting has never been my strong suit. I generally don't take naps well. I would rather simply push through, then at the end of the day, lay down and rest. I'm learning to listen to my body, and God. Even though my arm is in a sling, if I walk around too much, or run up or down the stairs, my hand really hurts. Driving in the car causes the damaged nerves in my hand to light up. I am being forced to stop. Since I'm deliberately trying to slow down, I don't get that surge of adrenaline as I try to push through. I am surprised at how tired I feel. I'm realizing how much energy and strength it is taking for my body to heal my hand, and deal with the pain. So early afternoon, as I was getting too tired to read, I decided to go lay down. I never stop and rest while others are working, so this is a new concept for me. Some hammering and banging were going on in the house as my husband was working on the remodel, so I couldn't truly fall asleep. But that was okay. I still got some well-needed rest. I think I dozed in and out of sleep as I lay on my bed. Honestly, it felt like a Holy rest. I'm letting go of things I can't control or fix. I am trusting others to do the things I would normally do. I'm pausing and waiting for God to speak into a few situations that may need to be dealt with, or maybe not. Mostly, today I just rested. I think today is the first day I truly stopped, and it felt good. I'm still not used to it. And if it was up to me, there is a long list of tasks I would have accomplished. Instead, I am leaning into God and letting go of what little control I thought I had. As I'm getting ready to go to bed tonight, I'm tired, but not rung out exhausted. I am at peace, and not anxious about all that needs to get done. I am trusting God in all that is happening to me, and around me.

God also helped me figure out a way to make a contraption for my sling, so my hand can truly rest, be protected, and not have the fabric of the sling pressing on my fingers. Hopefully, now it'll be easier for my body to heal.