This World Can Be tough, Who Doesn't Want A Little Control?

If you had told me a year ago I had control issues, I would have said you are talking to the wrong person. I know I can't control the world around me, and I don't want to control the people around me. I remember stories of my grandmother, whom I loved dearly, trying to control her eight children's lives and then later many of her grandchildren. I only saw this second hand because we lived several thousand miles away. But I saw the damage that was done because of it. Damaged relationships, wrong decisions all because, with the best intentions, she insisted she knew the better way. I made a decision not to do that.

I have no desire to control others. That responsibility is too great for me. If you try to strong-arm or convince someone to do what you think is best for them and follow your prodding and it turns out spectacular, they did it, and it has nothing to do with you. If, though, things end up a big disappointment, you are to blame! I know that even when I think I know the best way, I don't. There are too many variables that I cannot see. God knows what is best for the people I love most. I pray that He will guide their steps like He has guided mine.

Many years ago, I realized that I could not control the world around me or the circumstances I might find myself in. God was in control, and I could trust Him. His plans for me are good. The situation may be difficult or painful, but God was doing something extraordinary in the midst of it. Life was sweeter when I left all of that in His loving hands. I don't worry about airplanes, viruses, or natural disasters. I am in the palm of His hand, and my Maker knows the number of my days. None of this is in my control, and I am good with that.

I know, without a doubt, I can't control the world around me, and I have no desire to control the people in my life. The only thing I can control is me. I own my actions, my thoughts, my beliefs. I control what I learn and what I do. And I have done this very well. I am a self-disciplined person. Self-discipline is about taking small, consistent daily steps that help you build habits crucial to the results you desire. My actions were based on biblical principles. You see, I trusted God. His ways were the best, and I knew it. This was the framework I build my life around. Sounds good at first glance, but let me tell you the fault in all this.

The first sin was desiring independence from God. Eve ate of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. She then offered some to Adam, who also ate. They were not tempted by how delicious the fruit looked. Adam and Eve were tempted by independence. They were lied to and told they could be like God. Wise like God. Powerful like God. Independent of God. Self-sufficient.

Genesis 2:8-9 NASB

The LORD God planted a garden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed. [9] Out of the ground the LORD God caused to grow every tree that is pleasing to the sight and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Genesis 2:15-17 NASB

Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. [16] The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; [17] but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die."

Genesis 3:1-6 NASB

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'?" [2] The woman said to the serpent, "From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; [3] but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, 'You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.'" [4] The serpent said to the woman, "You surely will not die! [5] For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." [6] When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.

Just like Eve, we think if we are wise and know right from wrong, we can manage and control our lives. I am master of my destiny! The principles of God are wonderful and Powerful. They are truth. If we live our lives out of them, our life will be good. With all the self-control I could muster, I built my life on His principles and ways. These principles work whether you believe in Christ or not. This is why some unbelievers can have a seemingly blessed life. But, as a believer, when I simply use God's methods and principles to have the life I want, peace, joy, well-adjusted children, etc. I'm using Him. God's principles and practices are perfect. When we allow Him to be in us and we are in Him, we will allow the work of Christ to work through us. His principles and practices are no longer just tools, they become miraculous. I want to live in the miraculous.

When we are weak and afraid, when the ground feels unstable beneath our feet, it is easier to let Christ do it through us. I am in Him, and He is in me. I let go of control. I know I can't do this on my own, so I lean with everything I have into Him who knows the way. I don't try to do it independently; I don't profess to have all the answers. I simply let Him work through me. These sweet times of surrender are so powerful. I have done things I never thought I could.

Unfortunately, I have noticed that as the anxiety subsides and I feel more equipped, the thing I was once afraid to do, I now accomplish in my own strength. I feel prepared and capable. I've got this. I've done this before. I can be in control again, self-reliant. And before I know what's happened, I stepped out of the shoes of Christ and into my own. I don't want to live my life flowing in and out of Christ. I don't want to be self-sufficient, self-confident, or self-controlled. That is the self-life. It is all dependant on me and about me. A life of Christ-sufficiency is what I desire. I simply wish to have Him with me all the time and in every situation, whether I feel competent or scared. I am in Christ, and Christ is in Me. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And I am never alone.